I set all my regrets on fire

-
Help me.
Please, just help me.
I can't sleep. I can't breathe.
All I see in my mind is you
and all I can do is hope to God
that I haven't yet ruined what we have
with the stupid words I've helped myself to
this time around.

Tell me we'll be fine -
not with words, goodness no.
I want to see it in your eyes,
in the way you hold my hand,
or how you lay your head on my shoulders.
But it seems I'm just going to ruin it again this time.

I'm not ok.
What I'm doing to myself isn't fun
for me. Maybe I should cuff my hands,
keep myself away from you
and hope that things will resolve itself.
But that never really works, does it?
Maybe I shouldn't have let myself
believe that I'm loving you this way.

I need a miracle right now -
I want to stop ruining what seems
to have been working out so well.
Can't anyone tell me how to mend
this relationship that's fraying at the seams?
Maybe I just need some time alone.
I need some time.

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