And here I Am in Another Mess

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It seems the only time I'm here is when I'm elated in love or when I'm heavily heartbroken. That, or extremely frustrated in the realms of romance. Today, I feel like it's a bit of heartbreak and frustration.

I've just recently gotten into a rather nice relationship - it's fresh, new, and will most likely be an unforgettable experience as I look back on it. But as of now, I'm starting to feel like I'm purposely sabotaging my own relationship. Every evening I end up saying something I really shouldn't, and we part ways with our heads looking down and our eyebrows furrowed. Communication is scarce. But somehow there's something that reminds us of what's there and we keep going. And yet again I seem to ruin it with my words. What am I doing to this relationship?

Is there something going on in my head that's making me seemingly wreck the relationship almost on purpose? Why do I insist on saying the most insensitive things, without considering the other side? Do I actually have something I'm afraid of that manifests itself in the words I say and actions I do?

I can keep asking questions all day and night until I'm knee-deep in the drunkenness of my heart-aching frustration. I can ask and ask and ask but I won't be going anywhere asking - I simply can't answer it. Either I'm too afraid to answer or I just don't know the answer. But at the least, keeping Motion City Soundtrack on repeat is filling my need to stay afloat despite feeling like I'm drowning and losing oxygen.

Someone help me.

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