Thoughts of a Violinist Giraffe

Panels, pages of them, filled and illustrated with amusing images and a plot to arrest the mind with romance. How whole books bother to contain these things is mind-boggling. Imagination struggles to break free and release itself to the unsuspecting public. But for the public, buying these things and indulging in them is enough. Panels of imagination flourish in this rough, steely cold world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Easy to recognize subject matter if you ask me. Cheers!

There are memories engraved in these pins that I bothered to buy when I was still with you all, enjoying my time and taking my fill of the comradeship we shared. There is no doubt, no question - when it concerns my loyalty to you all. How dear you are to me, with memories as sweet as apples green from the tree. Remember when we used to monopolize the tables at the cafeteria, not giving a damn to any that passed by? Those were the days - it seems, I'm afraid, that it will never be that way again. I missed you, Block E. Will it ever be the same again? Is it just me that thinks this way? ~~~~~~~~~~ To my dear old friends in Manila. Hope to see you all soon! Cheers

Our decisions are set in stone, firm and seemingly formed for our benefit and disaster. I'd like to think though, that it's more like malleable plaster, still wet and somewhat shapeless. Like a nameless design to show and guide us to a light to shower ourselves in. Let us be quick to mend our decisions, if need be, and slow to make them. I think, by then, we'll be better off in the end. ~~~~~~~~ Cheers

I wonder if you hate me now, since I've given you problems      because of my absence.            Can you tell me how "being friends" will cure this? Others make you smile and laugh,    make your eyes shine like stars, tell you you're fine the way you are, smile at your teases and play around with you as they please. It's not necessary for me to be around anymore.                         What do you need me for? I'm replaceable. Don't hate me for the truth.        It's simple. This is me and you, as it is - as we knew            it would be. Please don't hate me. ~~~~~~~~~ Cheers!

Everything runs in painful circles. A woman full and fertile with child, moans in agony. A man struggles for his family, to bring happiness and health back to the home. This is how life stacks up and collapses in simplicity. We go around in eternity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Feels good to write a small and simple poem. Well, simple in form I guess... Cheers!

I'm not running away, I'm waiting for you to let go of me, finally. Asking me to be a friend, you just want me around with the added benefit of no romance or pressure to your heart. Can't you see what you're doing                               to me? Don't you know you're only making me suffer? Watch my raw emotions                                     flowing down this drain -                    Do you like to watch me in pain? Don't ask if we can just be friends                                because in the end, you're only putting salt in the wound again. Let me go. I need to run away, ok? I'll run away today. ~~~~~~~~~ It replays over and over like a broken record. I wo...

I'll recover sooner than I've ever done before. It seems as though my life has grown and changed for the better. I'm stronger, more self-assured and more aware of myself. There's more than one door opening before me. All I can see is opportunity. Experience has taught much - would I have grown so well had I had no such luck in acquiring these moments in my life? I guess not. My lot in life would not be as beautiful had I never felt this, gone through pain, and picked up the pieces scattered by romantic, heartbroken circumstance. Despite the pain, I know I'll stand strong. I'll move on before long. ~~~~~~~~~~ And I bounce right back. Cheers!

                               I am once again broken. What have you taken from me?                     Can't you see that I let myself open,                   only to be shunned and abhorred? Why did I ever let this fragile heart go exposed? Am I too slow for your eagerness, or too eager for your presence and affection?                  Am I too sloth-like to mention that my feelings are real? What can I do to appeal to you and make you see what you have done to me                    so effectively?             Was my hesitation the cause?           Did I allow too long a pause from your initial impressions to                ...

So much noise arises like a fire flying upwards in a roar and a rumble from this grotesque spectacle. It's nothing more than scandal screaming in my face - a debacle I can't erase so easily; like a penned phrase when all others were in pencil. It appears to try to shock and surprise with every moan and groan from the depths of its putrid soul. Please, no more. I've had enough of all this horror, which entice all others to descend lower into profanity. Dear God, no more. ~~~~~~ Cheers!

Du hast es.   Ich hasse mich. Warum machen wir es so schwer?          Ich kann nicht Liebe mehr geben. Was ist mit uns? Wirklich, wir sind Idioten. Natürlich, wir haben nur ein Paar Chance. Ich denke, brauche ich dieser Fragen. ~~~~~~~~~~ A small look at my childish command of the German language. Zu schade. In any case, cheers!

Plain, simple, somewhat justified            is the lie I'm soon to let fly      from my lips. Like a kiss of death so fearlessly addressed             to this tense and airless     atmosphere that surrounds us so effortlessly and completely. I speak though, with effort, as I face what we know as reality     - of what we know as fallacy.    I sense something like sanity           breaking in bits and pieces            as I speak haltingly and with hesitation. This could be the end of it all. So let it fall by the wayside,                        this lie I let fly                     from my lips. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cheers.

How do you explain that feeling where you consciously realize that you're letting yourself open up bit by bit only to find that the cold harsh reality forces you to close it up again? How do I reconcile myself to the fact that the moment I open up, I only scar and break what's already been broken so many times before? What do I do to remedy all this? Why do I allow myself to be sucked into my own diluted mess? What is it about me and emotional disaster? Why do I ruin lives? I can't seem to understand at all, or why I bother. Were I to open myself again in the future, what will keep it from being broken, torn, and beaten again? What if this is all I have for me? It appears circumstances hold me in a vice-grip that I just can't escape from; a set of circumstances I've unwillingly allowed myself to get into. I know things all eventually end, so why do I insist on going for something that may never be? And yet, when I insist and try, it brings me only pain to see th...

...my year has been far more active than I initially supposed. The new involvements are a welcome change, as it keeps me busy and out of my dark little corners. My recent stint with the XCCA event, playing the theme song "Kultura Ating Daan" was a wonderful experience. I was glad to utilize my talent. I have to use it somehow , else I would lose all ability to play violin anyway. Even more  events are coming up that I may potentially have the chance to perform in a variety of ways. I won't put my hopes up though. The recognition of XU-ICE gives me great satisfaction and pride, since it took quite some time to finally get it all underway. As my final two years dwindle away, I hope my efforts in this org help it grow and stay strong in the University. I don't want to leave only to find it has collapsed. Goodness, I sound like the org president, when in fact, I'm just the man behind the scenes! Joining XUMMAA, and, in extension, attending the Grecia Fight Club has ...