Thoughts of a Violinist Giraffe

I'm slowly beginning to understand the frustration of having your parents have particular expectations concerning your potential partner. Most of this frustration comes from knowing that your standards and theirs don't seem to entirely match up - no matter how hard you try to have it do so. When I've come to accept this, it only frustrates me more as just accepting that there are differences mean that, if I want to please my parents, I have to hold back on what I may feel for another. Or even hold back on any idea of interest. Sometimes I feel that my only answer to the circumstances is to start fresh - start where both of us, my parents and I, have no basis to go on. I find out more about the girl, about her family, about what makes her a person while my parents sit back and do their own thing for a few years. Maybe I just need that fresh start. Maybe keep things on the "down-low". Maybe wonder about the magical little things that seem to coincide with th...

The following is not in iambic pentameter, unfortunately... Can I contain this love that dares well up the depths of my soul - like a fire ablaze and consuming all that one comes across? Would it be proper to assume me crazed? Has madness taken hold even my eyes, has sleeplessness taken my very tongue? Am I now a vagabond, a ruffian despised, not worth time or place, for ladies to beware of? Lo, I fight specters and apparitions - they compass me 'round, they bind me with chains. I seek freedom in your eyes, my fascination. One look spell-binds me to your lovely name. But will any understand of the anguish I bear as another advances and I am left bare? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Take the piece for what it is, as it is a very familiar theme that I'm sure everyone can relate with. Such is life.

The following is a few lines from a poem I'm planning to perform if ever I get a chance to. Because I really like how this went down, I'm making sure my creativity isn't stolen from me and that is why what you see before you is only a bit of what I would actually do when I get the chance. Be that as it may, enjoy the few lines I've written for this piece, cheers! I'm not trying to be ludicrous or anything, but when I was thirteen, I really did have my first love. I say "have", but to be honest, I didn't really have  her. It was more like I was standing on the sidelines, watching her go from guy after guy after guy; wondering the whole time that if I tried would I be the next guy...? To say that she was the only one I've ever fallen in love with would be a lie flying through my clenched teeth like an innocent man desperate to escape so he can live out the rest of his life with a loving family. That is to say, it's probable to ann...

They told me that everything will be ok, the moment I stepped outside the car and walked towards those glass-covered doors. Who would have thought that I'd go home sore all over, losing composure, and breaking down faster than the abandoned car I saw down the road? Every weekend was the same - wake up one Saturday, wonder if there are any clothes that don't stand out, and head into the car with my thoughts somewhere else: in the clouds, with the rain, and no one to feign interest. It was safe, in a way. My parents paved the way down to the pews that weren't too far from the exit, but weren't so far from the front that we couldn't listen to the preacher man preach. But my thoughts were elsewhere... When the potluck came around, my friends and I would go to the back of the church, right behind the spot where the preacher man would preach. I didn't mind. But I began to realize that the other kids, the more popular kids, were elsewhere... They...

This upsets me more than you know. Upsets me more than you know so let me out. Just let me out. I can't stop myself from screaming out awkward nonexisting obscenities at the wall. I'm gonna fall. And it's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt so bad. Just let me talk it out. Just let it ring on out now. I'm telling you I'm running out. I'm running out of here so don't stop me. Just don't stop me. There's no way out but the steps that I take are showing a way back to what back to what I believe is right. And I'm feeling better now. I'm feeling better now. Just let me scream it out. Just let it ring on out now. This upsets me more than you know. Upsets me more than you know so let me out. Just let me out and find it out. ~~~~~~~~~~ A need to run away and find what made life so beautiful. I wonder how I'll use this.

It was the simplest break-up one could possibly have. Quiet too. No real lash-outs, no angry confrontations that end in equally passionate embraces - or smoldering hatred as both parties leave. There was none of that. It was just me, after the message has been sent, fighting with my own emotions. The doubts that haunted me in the relationship are gone - only to be replaced by increasing frustrations: what do I do now; is there anyone who is worth it; am I willing to wait. Question after question hounds upon me. There are no answers, not yet. The future is nice enough but somehow, I'm too impatient to wait for it. I look back on the message I've sent - explaining, imploring, and going into great detail as to why I am making the decision - have made  the decision. The way she replied, I may as well have just said "It's over", and go on our merry ways. But I can't just do that - I needed to explain, and I did, to the best of my ability. And now I'm...

Help me. Please, just help me. I can't sleep. I can't breathe. All I see in my mind is you and all I can do is hope to God that I haven't yet ruined what we have with the stupid words I've helped myself to this time around. Tell me we'll be fine - not with words, goodness no. I want to see it in your eyes, in the way you hold my hand, or how you lay your head on my shoulders. But it seems I'm just going to ruin it again this time. I'm not ok. What I'm doing to myself isn't fun for me. Maybe I should cuff my hands, keep myself away from you and hope that things will resolve itself. But that never really works, does it? Maybe I shouldn't have let myself believe that I'm loving you this way. I need a miracle right now - I want to stop ruining what seems to have been working out so well. Can't anyone tell me how to mend this relationship that's fraying at the seams? Maybe I just need some time alone. I need...