Thoughts of a Violinist Giraffe

When does dream become reality and reality become a dream? If I hope to find myself, why do I insist on following you in between                               the nights and days? As though I'm searching in what you say, a way to make me "me".     Will it help me to see     what I need to see? or want  to see?          Just say a word to help me be  confident in the world today. I'll follow you all night and day.                              I'll wake as though from a dream.                       I'll see you and hear you say           "When does dream become reality and reality become a dream?" You ask of me... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 01-20-11 I've yet to make a visua...

I was given a chance to visit a particular High School along with some members of my church. Obviously, the high schoolers were a lively bunch, with about as much fearlessness into the future as any kid their age. This absolute courage to face the future came with aspirations - some wanted to be an artist, a nurse, a pilot and so on. As I watched these kids, I felt a sense of - I guess you can say - kinship with them: I was like them once, looking to the future with bright eyes while enjoying the present. The important things in life were my grades, my friends and family, and who ate my pizza. High school life was easy. The future can be a little scary though... Hopefully these kids will grow up to be wonderful people with strong careers; personally, I'd hope to see nothing less. They deserve a chance to do something worthwhile with their lives and if they keep going in a proper direction, their hard work will pay off. It's something I'm excited to see in the future. I ...

They tell me they've found someone perfect for me. They say she's everything I'd want to                   see in a lady. I laugh and scoff, shrug and joke it off - I've seen it all before. But they say there's more - it's different, they're sure of it this time. Though curious, no breath was held - why place any false hope                            on what they said? It's not like they have anything to show                                 for it. I just know          it'll end in disappointment anyway. I won't hold my breath. Catch me by surprise, or so                          the plan seems to be. In any case, it certainly worked on me. I find myself holding my breath; may...

I've no idea what to write right now. I'm up at three or so in the morning, and I honestly don't know why. I normally don't wake up this early, so why now? I can't really explain what I'm feeling, but it's been a long time since I've felt it. It's not exactly new, but it's not exactly something I'm familiar with. I don't know, I can't really explain myself right now. Too many thoughts running around. I'm sure it's hard enough reading this blog without trying to figure out what I'm saying. I'm ridiculous, I know. Imagine me sitting on a bench, with "Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap or "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear playing. That's how I feel right now. Sort of. Why's this so hard to explain? I can't write a ditty today. My mind is going off in too many directions to make a concentrated effort on writing one. .... Can three weeks not go by any faster?

Doing something remotely productive actually boosts my mood up significantly. This is good, since the school year has passed by faster due to all my little engagements. Church choir, involvement with making a revamped XU-ICE, and actually doing work as well as finishing on schedule for various classes have kept me from thinking too much about the time. In return, time kindly passed me by - thanks Time! Also, I've actually finished several video games of considerable length this school year. Considering how busy I've been, this is a feat in itself! I believe my time management is getting quite good. Thank God for that then. It makes me wonder how my well-deserved vacation will fare. If it's this good during the school year, surely it'll get better when vacation comes around? Who knows? We'll just have to see I guess. I've nothing else to say. What a damn shame. Cheers!

I feel I'm getting mixed signals in regards to girls and romantic relationships from God as well as other people of great influence in my life. My parents tell me to start looking now , but at the same time, focus on my studies. That gives me nothing - how am I supposed to look around (or date) if I want to put all my focus on studies? Friends suggest I might as well date now, get over the heartbreak and mature as life goes on... but I figure I can do that without really dating, so why bother? God... well, He's done pretty well in making me confused. I've become more sociable, and thus, made more female acquaintances; none of which are too close to me personally. Considering all of the other influences I've already listed, this has put me in quite a quandary. What must be done to rid me of this seemingly trivial situation? I don't think I'll arrive at a satisfying answer any time soon, so I may as well put it aside until something comes up that puts my thoug...

Looks to me to be another Valentine's Day weekend all on my lonesome. It's extraordinary how a majority of individuals are single yet a majority of the holidays that I know of are burning reminders of your singleness. I mean seriously, couples everywhere! Why do you have to do this to us single people, world? Come on, give us some slack. We can't all get someone special to spend the holidays with. Anyways, this Sunday has been spent listening to BBC Radio 1/1xtra. Wonderful music station, give it a listen at their site,  BBC Radio 1 and Radio 1xtra  . Whilst listening to these top-class beats, I've busied myself with schoolwork. Ah, what a diligent student I am. Not to say that the couples spending their weekend loving and cuddling aren't so diligent, quite the contrary. They're totally legit people who have good reason to spend time with their special someone over some paperwork. I mean, seriously, who would want to spend their day doing schoolwork? Certainly...

Some of you may know of the Dubstep movement amongst UK DJs. If you haven't, it's understandable. Though the fact most of you listen to the mainstream so much, I'm surprised if you haven't heard of Dubstep yet. Britney Spears' new work, "Hold It Against Me" has elements of Dubstep. A major contributor to Dubstep is Skream, an amazing artist when mixing these tracks. Typical Dubstep elements are the unusual drum beats, along with bassdrops and a kind of meditative approach to the music. It's something I personally gravitate to. And besides, it gives me reason to krunk (heh). Here's a perfect example: Enjoy it, it's a wonderful piece of work. 'Til next time. Cheers!

The end of the school year is fast approaching. Though I'm excited to end this school year with a bang and a trip to the States, I'm also saddened to see it go. This school year has given me quite a few opportunities to present myself as a useful member and student of its campus. I'm glad to say that my grades have improved since I first entered the college phase. My outlook on life is a bit more down-to-earth as well; I'm not as "touchy" or "sensitive" as I used to be. Believe me when I say it's a good thing. My decision to stick with Sociology has given me a whole new viewpoint of what the world is like. It's certainly a more fun perspective than I initially assumed. Even video games have begun to look a little differently... but that's for another time I guess. I swear I've spoken of my newfound love of Sociology before... it may be that I've forgotten. In other news, 2011 is well underway and so far, I've kept my r...